Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
