Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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