Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Will exercising make me less horny?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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