I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
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i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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