Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
