would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
