just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
