i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
