What did we do last night that was yellow?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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