Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
