you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
