there's paper in my vomit.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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