Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
