We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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