we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
