i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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