i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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