Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
