I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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