i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
