I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
