we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
