It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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