There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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