she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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