Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
