You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the condom got lost in my hair
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
