forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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