both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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