Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
