only if we run a train.
done.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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