Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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