So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
