HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
