dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
