sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize