She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
