alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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