so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize