i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize