I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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