would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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