Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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