I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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