dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
