This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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