Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
