a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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