SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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