I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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