your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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