In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
