I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
