I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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