so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
