Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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