Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
