you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
