In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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