Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
