I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
