Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
