dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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