you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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