You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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